cleverthings

So I’ve been dieting for almost a week now, six days to be exact, and I’ve lost two pounds. Exciting, right? Especially since I’ve heard that’s the most weight you can lose in a weight healthily.

The thing is, I’ve screwed up REPEATEDLY this week. For instance, yesterday I had half a bison burger with french fries (which, even with the bison, is like 600-700 calories) and I had guacamole, tortilla chips and tacos, which admittedly did not have meat. A beer and a glass of champagne. So how?

Honestly, I really think it’s indicative of the crap I’ve been eating on a regular basis. I’ve drank a little here and there all week, but I spared myself my college binge drinking. I’ve allowed myself to have that Krystal I was craving (two, even) but I drank diet coke and I skipped the french fries.

My mom always says I’m genetically inclined to thin whenever I start bitching about feeling fat. Maybe she’s right.

More like, exactly two. Suffice it to say that I effed up on Thursday, did better on Friday (and got in a 45 minute work out as well) and did badly again today. My sister just moved into a new house and we had a little housewarming party. I guess it happens.

I saw a few friends yesterday that I hadn’t seen in a while. They said they could definitely tell that I’ve lost weight. Yay

Anyway, eating well tomorrow. I have a paper to write and a lot of little errands to run, but I’ll make sure I find some time for the gym. I had this really great idea that’s making it a lot easier to motivate myself to work out. I have a personality that’s centered around accomplishment. I can barrel through almost any job as long as there’s an end in sight. Motivating myself to work out is hard for me because I don’t see any immediate results. So, I gave myself a number: 30. I’m trying to get 30 workouts in before October 31st, starting about a week ago. That means almost every day but gives some leeway for screw-ups and awkward schedules. And every time I finish a workout that’s 45 minutes or more, I revise that number to reflect it.

Also, I discovered laughing cow cheese today and intend to eat it every day forever until I die. The end.

I’m unhappy and I’m ready to make some changes.

I’m not overweight. To be honest, I’ve never really considered myself overweight. I have just always been on the heavier side of my healthy weight range. I am curvy and I think curvy is beautiful. I have no desire to look like Kate Moss.

That said.

I’m 5′7 and about 160 pounds. That’s okay, I think, except I hold way too much of it in my stomach. I’ve read in a few different places that tummy weight is dangerous and causes a lot of health problems in adulthood. Also, I’m twenty years old and I’ve never been happy with my weight. Well, since puberty. And I know a lot of women feel like that, but I feel like if I lost about 20 pounds, I would be extremely happy with my body. I have heard that it’s a lot harder to lose weight as an adult. I want to be healthy and thin for the rest of my life, so I guess it makes sense to get where I want to be now.

Also, I’m studying abroad in Australia in February. Land of many beaches and hot surfer boy capitol of the world. I would really love to have my perfect bikini bod by then.

I was 170, but I lost a very slow, arduous 10 pounds this summer. I didn’t work out much, despite the fact that my mother is a personal trainer, and accomplished it mostly through dieting, sticking to a loose 1200-1500 calories a day. I cheated a lot. I went to the beach with one of my friends and took no pictures.

Halloween is in six weeks and I want to go back to the college I just transferred from, way hotter than I ever was when I went there. I think I’m a pretty girl. I was in a sorority of pretty girls. But, you know. We all want to be the best we can be.

I’ve been really depressed for the past two years, a time marked by a lot of anger and a lot of fast food. I’ve made a lot of changes in my life and I feel a little better. But I have a proactive nature, and I’ve decided to undertake a weight loss program unlike a lot of other ones: the focus is on losing weight, but I also want to work on being the very best person I can be.

So here it goes. My own, personal, six week life makeover. I’m limiting my calories and sticking to it. I am cutting out fast food and doing my damnedest to cut out fried food. I am going to allow myself SMALL portions of the things I really, really want that are bad for me. I am going to try to drink water in lieu of diet soda. I am going to try to get 20 grams of fiber a day. Meaning: I’m going to eat what’s good for me, not just what i want.
I’m going to use my school fitness facility on Tuesdays and Thursdays when I get out of class, as well as sometime during the weekend. 30 minutes of cardio, 20 minutes of strength training.

Also, I’m going to try to make it to the tanning salon three times a week. I bought a meditation cd with guided imagery and affirmations and I plan to listen to that every day. I’m going to actively work on clearing up my skin. I’m going to focus on arranging my semester in Australia and plan the new, beautiful wardrobe I’m going to buy when I reach my goal weight.

I started today. I think journaling about my progress could be the tool that really helps me keep it together. So, here goes.

—-

Monday, September 22nd.

On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I work as a part-time nanny. I ate a fiber one yogurt and a kashi bar on my way out the door (about 300 calories) as well as some green tea with skim milk. When I put the boys down for a nap, I had some saltines with American cheese and pepperoni (about 300 calories) and did my meditation. I’ve noticed that I’m always really hungry when the boys go down, which isn’t bad because the people I work for are mostly health conscious.

After work, I came home and had some pad thai my mom made (about 250 cal.) I also had a kid-sized fruit frozen yogurt (about 250 cal.)

Altogether: 1100 calories. Not bad.

Gym tomorrow. Going to try to wake up and tan first. I also think I might start splitting up the meditations- 43 minutes is a long time for me. I think I may do the meditation in the morning and the affirmations at night.